You're the boss, Applesauce.Orders from above told me to.
1) In the event of my death, I want a bench erected in my honour somewhere obscure in Shetland, with fun and interesting facts about me. Maybe the bench could be a cool colour.
2) Today I burnt two things. Toast, and my forehead.
3) When I was younger, I would wish that I was magic. Now, I'm learning how real magic manifests itself in the people I love.
4) I think I have multiple personality disorder, only my personalities are kind of similiar and all of them like chocolate milk.
5) I would like to save the world. Not in an eco-warrior way, in a superman way.
6) Sometimes, at four in the morning when I'm wicked drunk, I believe it.
7) I'm a socially akward recluse. I just keep it very secret by making a lot of conversation and going out frequently.
8) My main goal for this year is to do something really stupid and irrational that changes my life for the better. I haven't figured out what it is yet, I figure it'll probably be one of those 'impulse' decisions. I hope it doesn't involve Vegas.
9) I have this idealized image of everywhere else but here.
10) Sometimes, it sucks when the boy who holds your hand would rather be somewhere else.
11) I am the biggest hypocrite ever. Seriously.
12) I'm smart enough to realise that I'm not very special, and that's okay. Even if I never get published or printed or recognised in queues, I still plan on doing very cool things with my time.
13) I want people to like me, and I do care what you think.
14) It would pretty rad if I turned into the kind of person who lived for pleasure and not profit. I'm in the post though.
15) I catagorically deny that I'm sixteen.
16) I'm afraid that I'll forget everything about being young and stupid when I'm old and stupid.
17) People who hate narrowminded people, but are narrowminded about things that they deem okay to be narrowminded about, are assholes. You shouldn't be one.
18) At the moment, I enjoy using the word 'demographic' in conversation.
19) I like him so much that it makes me grumpy.
20) I really like that in old films, the men had moustaches. It added a whole new level to sex scenes.
21) My last poem was rubbish. It's okay though, because I just needed to write.
22) I love skin and bones.
23) My favourite hobbies include laughing, kissing and sleeping.
24) Sometimes, when I'm lying awake at night, I forget to breathe. Concerning?
25) I get lost every single day.
I think I'm done now.
Content
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Catch my 40,000 pageview and win a feature. (:
Well, I've read through a bunch of your most recent poems, and I've found it extremely hard to find anything to say I could level at any particular poem.
All your poems are fairly form-perfect. I could make minor comments about the choice of words sometimes being - to my eyes - inconsistent and sort of confused, but they do not really cover my full opinion.
Basically, I want to see what you can do when you do something that you do not usually do, or haven't ever done.
You've a distinct style, and you make good use of it in most of what you write.
This makes your poems good, and well-crafted. Also, after reading a number of them, I sort of became bored, because I felt like I was seeing the "same" thing over and over again.
Of course I wasn't, and the boredom was mostly superficial, because your poems are too well-done do handwave away like that.
So... yeah.
My advice - or my challenge, if you will - would be that you write something completely different. And I'm not (just) talking about a different subject, I'm talking about a different vocabulary, a different turn of phrase, a different style of arranging the stanzas, different everything.
Not because you lack anything in your current modus operandi; no, because you do not really lack much of anything. Because you might find something new to enhance what you can do.
...
So yeah.
This is, of course, only my opinion. For what it's worth.
And really, you're good, and you can only ever become better. I'm the sort of person who must criticize everything, or I do not feel I've contributed anything meaningful, so make of all this what you will. And for God's sake, keep writing!
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I want everything so bad I can taste it
- ~Llywenlla, from My Saving Grace
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Sic hoc adfixum, in obice legeres potes et liberatier educatus et nimmis propinquus ades!
I'm shocked you think so poorly of me!
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I want everything so bad I can taste it
- ~Llywenlla, from My Saving Grace
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Sic hoc adfixum, in obice legeres potes et liberatier educatus et nimmis propinquus ades!
That's new. Usually I've been described as much more of a leprechaun
Well, I'll endeavour to curtail my vocabular exuberance in the future
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I want everything so bad I can taste it
- ~Llywenlla, from My Saving Grace
I never really thought about the way my poems came out; they just kind of did, and I just kind of went with it.
If you've seen the film mean girls, think of it as 'word vomit'.
Just... prettier.
So, I've taken what you said on board and TRIED to do something slightly new, using subject material I've been putting off for a very long time.
I hope you like it. It's not deviating vastly from what I usually do; I haven't taken up limericks or anything.
It's just a different tone. Definatly different word choice.
Slightly different structure?
Let me know how I've done.
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my war paint is sharpie ink
I've just... er... forgotten you. But not in the permanent sort of way, you see. More the "OH GOD I HAVE AN OCEAN OF THINGS IN MY HEAD" and then there are some things that float better than others.
And your avatar is, like, a whale, so you're submerged most of the time and I always miss it when you come up for air.
Soo... uh.. yeah.
Please reply to this so that you do not disappear from my messages. If you did, then I'd forget for REAL... :S
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I want everything so bad I can taste it
- ~Llywenlla, from My Saving Grace
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